Entropy
by Dorminchu
Summary: In Stohess, Annie succeeds in preserving both Eren and herself from the reaches of the Scouts, but all is not as it seems / Eren's desire to know what lies outside the Walls may very well end up destroying him. [AU]
1. das Vorwort

update, 12/23/16: Added chapter titles to each chapter, & a bit more information to this one, in particular, for clarity's sake.

* * *

 _Chapter One: das vorwort_

* * *

The Military Police dungeons were small and cramped, just shy of salubrious. There were no windows.

"Anything to report?" asked Captain Kenneth Ackerman.

The soldier snorted.

"She's not exactly been that _cooperative_ , sir."

The Captain smiled. He knew her type, proud and unflinching, with near-enough guts to back up her bravado. She wouldn't break without an honest effort, but he wasn't here to watch her crumble. There'd be plenty of time for that later.

The door creaked open and Ackerman made his way over to the group in the cell with a practised ease.

"At ease, the lot of you. She ain't gonna tell you a damn thing when ya give her what she wants."

The guards stepped aside, and Ackerman stopped in front of the girl. She was smaller than he'd expected her to be, hunched forward, head drooping, not quite motionless. In the light from the torches her poor condition was unmistakeable; dark blood, caked in her hair, oozing down her face. There were raw, angry looking patches all down her arms and ribs, a sharp contrast to her fairer skin.

Ackerman sighed. "Kindly excuse us for a bit, won't you?"

"Yes, sir."

The two men left, shut the heavy door behind them. Ackerman turned to look at the girl, who stared right back.

Ackerman lowered his head to her level, hands on knees. "You're a right tough nut to crack, ain'tcha?"

The girl did not stir.

"Don't play dead with me, darlin'. I ain't an easy one to fool."

Nothing. Without pause, Ackerman grasped her by the back of the head and yanked her up that way, his gesture violent but simultaneously smooth, effortless. The girl rasped, breath thin and painful-sounding, but kept motionless save for a slight shudder. He might as well have tapped her on the shoulder.

"Now I'll admit, I'm mighty impressed with the extent of your control, Leonhardt. But we're a touch short on time, y'see. And unlike those sorry bastards, I'm not picky about breakin' some bones."

She sneered up at him. Her teeth were chipped, her nose broken.

"Your little limbs oughta heal, anyways. Am I wrong?" The girl offered nothing in the way of confirmation or declination. Ackerman tutted. "Surely you've got something more to offer me than resistance? I'm not nearly as stupid as you might think."

"You're wasting your time on me, sir. I know nothing."

Her voice was remarkably unaffected for someone having suffered such grievous injuries. Once again, Ackerman was almost impressed.

"There's no need to play innocent with me. I wouldn't bother comin' down to pay you a visit if I wasn't of the mind to know somethin'." He let her go, circling around her. "Ever heard of some tricky little formula called a Coordinate?"

The girl did not move, but he detected a brief flicker of fear in her eyes.

"So you know of it. Someone must've told ya. Were you in contact with one of those royal devils, by chance? Or are you one of them outsiders?"

Again, there was silence.

"If you ain't gonna cooperate, I'll just hafta' go pay your friend another visit." The sound of his steps echoed as he toward the door. "You're really somethin', you know. He broke faster than you did. Then again," his lips curled, "it's a different sort of harm than what's been done to you. More of a mental exercise, if you catch my drift."

The girl was watching him very closely. Ackerman let the silence between them thicken, lingering on the uncertainty he'd left behind.

* * *

 _A/N: Thoughts? Criticisms? Requests for more?_


	2. der erste Versuch

_A/N: It's been freaking forever since I started this story. Get ready for gore and grit, everyone—this is a bit of a departure from the usual!_

 _update, 12/23/16: Changed/added a few minor details, nothing particularly groundbreaking._

* * *

 _Chapter Two: der erste versuch_

* * *

Eren opened his eyes and he was crumpled, helpless and broken under stone.

 _Annie_ , was his first thought, then, _Armin, Mikasa_.

He tried to move but there was something driven up through his belly like a spit, rendering him immobile. With every breath he felt steam hiss around the wound inside him. Agony came in waves as the shock faded from his consciousness, and it was of such power that he almost passed out again, but eventually he managed to string together the thought— _that's my blood_. And he felt the burn of regeneration as his body struggled to hold together, healing ineffectually. He gasped, took in more blood and choked on it. Steam poured out of his red mouth and nostrils.

"Eren!"

His eyes widened.

That was Armin. Armin was digging at the rubble but he was too small to make a difference.

"Armi…what are you doing?" Jean's voice. Eren blinked, rapid and feeble, struggling to keep himself alert. "Why's he still…? …thought he was supposed to transform."

"Yes, Jea…know that, but he couldn't do it, all right?"

They must be talking about him. There was a mission to capture the Female Titan. Eren gasped violently, trying to stay awake.

"What d'you mean, he couldn't do it?" Jean demanded. Eren registered his speech as though it came from underwater.

"It's Annie. He couldn't bring himself to…." Armin, again.

Eren focused hazily on the blurry shape of Jean's legs as he drew nearer, two stripes of white under black.

"What the hell does Annie have to do with—"

"…don't have time to argue! We have to dig him out before he bleeds to death, help me!"

A second later, Eren felt the crushing weight lifted and groaned weakly at the sudden reintroduction of light.

"Goddam it, Eren," Jean's voice snarled, and Eren felt hands grabbing him by the shoulders at the first opportunity, "I thought I told you before—we bet our lives on your stubborn arse, and this is how you repay us? What about Marc—"

"Keep away from him!" Armin ordered, voice rising in a panic. "You're letting your emotions get the—!"

"I don't want to hear that shit from you, Armin!" Jean roared. His voice trembled and died. When he spoke again it was harsher. "She took his gear, weren't you listening to what Armin told us?"

"Jean—" Armin started, but Jean was shouting over him:

"What's it going to take before you get it through your thick fucking skull? How many more of us have to die for you before you decide whose side you—?"

He cut off abruptly, head snapping up at something Eren could not see. With a curse, Jean dropped him and ran. A shower of rubble followed. Now Jean and Armin were gone, maybe dead. And Eren knew he would be joining them soon enough. It was hard to think about these things when he was so tired.

Eren closed his eyes and felt the blood seep out of him with every violent pulse of his heart, head ringing.

"…ren!" Armin was shouting for him again. It was an effort to open his eyes and search for the sound of that voice. He could not see Armin. "Eren, listen to me! A person who can't bring themselves to sacrifice anything can never hope to change anything. But to become a monster, you have to be able give up your humanity. I don't know what Annie's prerogative is, but I do know that only one of you is going to win this! Don't you understand?"

Eren waited for additional instruction, but Armin had gone again. Eren forced himself to keep his eyes open, lidded. His next thought was: _Last time I put my trust in my comrades, I failed…._

And the memories rushed him like, images of Petra and Gunther and Eld and Aruro, dead by the hand of the enemy.

But the enemy was human, had killed many soldiers to get to him, and would do it again. Annie was fearless, because she had everything to lose.

His head was still ringing and the only thing that kept him conscious was the repetition of Armin's words: _A person who can't bring themselves to sacrifice anything can never hope to change anything. But to become a monster, you have to be able give up your humanity…._

Heaving again at the way the blood rushed easily down his throat, his will released itself as a choked and gurgling scream, and Eren grabbed the wooden beam that pierced him. With all the strength he had left, more than he knew he had possessed, he forced himself to rise upon it, tortuous. The wood dragged heavy inside him and he screamed again, this time in agony, but he had to get up. He would heal, if he could just bear the pain a little longer….

 _I have to stop her_ , he thought, like a mantra. _I have to stop her, I have to stop her before it's too—_

* * *

—light exploded and he was taken up into the body of the monster. Risen high, above the buildings and tall enough to see the domed church, Eren stood. He felt himself healing even as he opened his eyes. The world was bleeding colour.

Pain numbed in his stomach and he could think clearly again.

Logic and mania combined in his mind and his body to form a twisted order. He knew where she would be.

Annie was motionless as he found her, facing away, the only figure in the centre of the clearing, surrounded by magnificent construction and blue sky, as if awaiting his approach. And Eren did not stop to think, did not allow her time to attack or defend, leapt over the row of houses and raised a fist, struck her body a blow so awesome she staggered, crashing into the building at her back.

First move was his. Her face was caved in and unrecognizable. He wondered if she could see. Her body shuddered to action and bracing herself against the wreckage at her back, she got to her feet. He knew Annie would not let him attack so easily again. And through the streets Eren chased her. She avoided most pockets of civilians. She was smart. Or afraid. Eren knew her too well to overlook these things.

The Scouts were present in his perception, but secondary next to his objective. He avoided them for fear of accidental injury.

Soon Annie brought him into another clearing, grabbed a nearby building, and came to a stop. He dug heels into the ground and then his hands with an animal screech.

It was like old instinct, the way they looked at one another. She assumed her stance. He made the first move and she kicked for his leg with her own, crystal tearing through muscle and bone. The cut was unnaturally clean and he was thrown off balance, grabbing at the wall of houses for support, pushing off with a howl. His aim was true and he aimed at her face, struck her a blow that she caught, blocked again by crystal. It sent her skidding back and she fell to one knee.

The shell cracked around her palms, encasing her shin. He knew what she was going to do. Nowhere to run. He had only one option.

She brought her leg up and he brought his jaws down in the same moment and with a deafening CRACK they connected.

Eren did not let go until she nearly tore his jaws apart from his skull, slamming his skull into the stone. He fell, crumpled and bloody, to rest, slumped in the space between the street walls. Annie, meanwhile, was moving at a steady clip towards Wall Sina.

Eren tried to move. Couldn't. A snarl sounded from his throat and he strained with all his might to rise up, find his footing.

He had to stop her, but his body would not obey him.

 _No._

He felt heavy, knew was going to black out again….

 _No!_

His eyes fluttered—

* * *

 ** _Get up._**

It was a woman's voice. His first thought was of Mikasa. He moaned a little.

 ** _Eren._**

He was sightless. The timbre was strangely familiar, but he did not recognise the voice.

"M…mother?" he croaked, though he knew it was not so.

 ** _Can you hear me, Eren?_**

Struggling with pain and disorientation, he gave a feeble groan of acknowledgement.

"Who are you?"

 ** _Later. She's getting away._**

"Annie…?"

 ** _You know what you have to do._**

"I can't."

 ** _You must._**

"Why?"

 ** _You have the will, already. Do whatever it takes._**

"…I can't kill her." The words were quiet, strained.

 ** _Who said anything about killing?_**

Then she paused.

 ** _Hurry, and we can save her. There may still be time._**

He was silent, but the promise registered.

 ** _You can trust me, or trust yourself. Make your choice and live by it._**

The words were like a physical blow. He thought of Eld, and Oluo and Petra and Gunther, then saw new bodies, Levi and Armin and Mikasa and countless others, and knew he would not make the same mistake twice.

He croaked: "Help me, whoever you are. Please. I can't let that happen again."

Perhaps it was arrogant of him, to expect this spectre to understand. He waited in the dark for an answer, counting the rhythmic _thud_ of Annie's footsteps.

The silence was thick. His heart throbbed violently in his chest.

And then, at long last, she spoke:

 ** _So rise, Eren Jaeger, and I will guide your hand._**

"How do you know my —"

* * *

—back in the body of the Titan, but he was not alone. Another force occupied his consciousness.

 _Let go_ , it sang in his ear, clear as a bell. _Let go, let go…._

The voice of the woman was warped and joined by more, a chorus of speakers urging him to act.

Annie was fast and well-ahead, but somehow Eren knew that she would not make it in time. He barely noticed the fire licking at his skin as he hauled himself up to his feet again, and despite his sense of panic, despite the fear and anguish and misplaced rage, there was a terrible, concrete coolness driving forward.

And he could think clearly. So clearly. He could take a moment and really pay heed to the way she was moving, observe how she seemed to draw pause as he drew nearer, nearer, pursuing her on all fours, and then she looked back and he saw the horror in her eyes.

He lunged forward.

Effortless, easy as breathing, they tumbled to the ground and brought up the cannons and people in their path like matchsticks. The stone yielded under their bodies. Eventually they stopped. And Annie dug her clawed hands into the ground and shoved her body back into him, hard. Her crystal was sharper than the most honed of blades, and Eren reacted.

She bashed him away with her arm, but now she was open, and tired from running. Her mistake. He caught her face in both hands and squeezed like it was her jugular. He felt bones splintering beneath his fingers and Annie was _screaming_ like he'd never heard her scream before, and part of him wanted to scream, too, but he would not let her go, not again, not for anything.

And she clawed at him with her crystal fingers, kicked him off; she was getting away but he was desperate. He crashed back into one of the buildings and tore himself free, bounding forward. She ran for the wall—her pace was drunken—and dug her hands into the stone, pulling her weight up.

"No—COME BACK!" he shouted. He was staggering, then leapt and grabbed her leg. She screeched and kicked at him and he fell back to solid ground with her leg clasped tight between his hands. "ANNIE!" he roared in desperation, watching her carve a path to freedom.

 ** _Wait, Eren._**

The woman's voice was in his head again, drowning out the others.

"SHE'S GETTING AWAY!" he bellowed frantically to the air. "WE HAVE TO—"

Something flew past him and he gasped, snapped up his head to follow it. _Mikasa?_

It happened so quickly he was unsure how it transpired. One second Annie was nearly over Sina, and then she was falling away, given over to gravity.

 ** _NOW!_**

And as she crashed to earth once more, broken and bleeding, Eren fell upon her. Tore away her arms so she could not move, and then did the same for her head, sending it rolling. His hands were destroyed by sheer force, and he sat atop her motionless husk and felt himself regenerating.

Deja-vu.

This time, somehow, Eren knew what to do. He closed his eyes and lowered his head to her naked throat and—

* * *

—alive and dizzy, breathing in the steam of his Titan's shell. He gasped and his lungs were on fire.

 _Annie._

Eren tore himself free like an insect emerging from some scorching chrysalis. Covered in blood, shaking, but it didn't matter. None of it mattered.

His Titan's shell loomed across hers in such a way that it would be near impossible to reach her without risk of being crushed by either one of the unstable bodies.

He had to get to her before the others did. Slipping in the blood, he staggered across planes of skin to her Titan's disintegrating corpse. He slipped and fell, scrambling for purchase in his Titan's hair.

He manoeuvred himself over to the bleeding nape.

She was in there, a glimmer of her hair in the crimson-black ooze. He fell to his knees and plunged his arms in and choked on his scream but pain didn't matter. She was solid in his arms. Residue clung to her like hot oil. He held her as well as he was able, focussing through the pain—he could see the lines carved into her cheeks, still bleeding. _Pulse_ , he thought desperately, _check for a pulse._

But he did not have to check after all, because it was when he directed his attention elsewhere that Annie woke, gasping harshly, and he'd never been so happy to hear her voice.

"Eren?" she said weakly, and his first instinct was to crush her body to his and simply hold her, as if he could shield her from the inevitable.

"Yes," he muttered against her blood-sticky cheek, "yes, it's me, I'm here."

Annie slumped a little in his embrace.

There were voices raised over the hiss of steam, but the words were indecipherable.

"They're coming," she mumbled urgently. "You need to let me go."

"No. No, they'll — I'm not leaving you like this," Eren said fiercely.

She stiffened like she was about to argue. Then she relaxed, both of her hands clutching onto his shirt.

"Annie?" he croaked.

She was hesitating. "I'm going to try something. I don't know if it will work. But I need you to trust me."

He was speechless for a moment, even forgetting the danger that surrounded them. How could she ask him something so simple?

"Eren," she said desperately. "Please, give me your answer."

"Yes," he told her, without hesitation. "Yes, I'll trust you."

Something flashed in her eyes. It looked like pain, but he could not place it.

She hugged him so tightly it hurt and the world exploded into light once again. He shouted in alarm and she buried her face in his chest.

And something was forming around their bodies, like a casing of diamond.

By now Eren understood her intention, but it was far too late.

* * *

 _A/N: CLIFFHANGER! Don't worry, I know where I'm going with this one. Stay tuned for more at some point!_


	3. das Vernehmung

_a/n: I'm surprised by the amount of people clamoring for a continuation! It makes me happy to know you guys actually want more, as this is the chapter where things start to escalate, thematically and literally._

 _It also helps if you're up to date on the manga._

* * *

 _Chapter Three: das Vernehmung_

* * *

It was the sudden, inexplicable quiet that caused Eren to open his eyes.

Water engulfed his bare ankles, and the only source of light came from someplace below, unseen by the naked eye, as though the illumination were emanating from within the ground itself, the refracted light casting strange shapes upon his body.

Casting his eyes above, he saw nothing but a pale void and inky darkness, a starless sky and sea inverted.

Eren frowned. _The sea…? Why would I think of that?_

He felt his own unease as though it were a physical entity, and another presence lurking somewhere else, a dark and volatile thing that did not belong there. But his reverie was soon dispelled, his attention redirecting as he witnessed small ripples in the water at his feet and quickly spotted the source of the disturbance.

Annie was here, too. Eren stared at her unblinkingly, hardly daring to believe she was really there.

A thought struck him; if he blinked, she might disappear. Foolish. He brushed it off and called out, hoarsely:

"Annie?"

She did not speak, only turned, slow and sedate, to face him.

"Where are we?" he asked.

"We're safe, for now." Her voice was calm. Unnatural, even. Eren didn't like the sound of it.

"Where did you take me, Annie?" he demanded.

She ignored him. Typical of her. An older anger welled up in him, surpassing the desire to settle things through reason. Annie turned and began to walk away.

"No—WAIT!" he shouted without thinking. The air above crackled, the dark of their surroundings (were they underground?) momentarily overcome by golden light, bright and blinding as the sun. Abruptly, Annie froze in place, like he'd reached out and stopped her with his bare hands, but Eren did not think of it. He was moving without thought, by her side within seconds, questions coming to him faster than he could spit them out: "Where the hell is this place? Why are we alone?"

"I just saved your life," she said coldly. "That's all that matters." She tried to turn away again but he was quick to put a stop to it.

"Don't walk away from me," he growled. "Answer the question."

"Where am I supposed to go?" she snapped. "There's no-where for either of us to run anymore."

He stood in front of her now, and he could see her eyes were no longer lifeless.

 ** _You're asleep._**

The idea struck him inexplicably. Eren frowned. "How—how can I talk to you if we're asleep?"

An unfamiliar emotion presented itself in her eyes. "Where did you get that idea?"

 ** _Perhaps both of you are dreaming the same dream._**

"I just thought…." Eren stopped. "No. No, this doesn't make any sense, I remember, we—" trailing off, because Annie Leonhardt was still the enemy but there was nothing to hide from her, nothing to lose anymore, "—Annie, you—you turned into a Titan, to evade capture. And I—the Scout Regiment, we were meant to stop you, and we were successful in the end. Weren't we…?"

Annie smiled, but it was hollow. "I suppose you must have been, yes."

"Well, what about the Scouts?" Eren pressed on, ignoring her attempts to goad him. "Armin, and Mikasa and the others? What happens to them?"

Shrug. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure they can survive on their own a little longer without their saviour—"

"Stop." His voice was raw, his hands shook. This wasn't at all what he wanted. "Stop it, Annie."

Sneering as she retorted: "I'm not afraid of you."

"I don't GIVE a damn if you're afraid of me or not!" he roared, fuelled by long-suppressed emotion, and some part of him felt relieved by the way she finally shrank away. "Don't you understand? This isn't about—taking sides, or whatever else it is you're trying to make it out to be! We have to work together and find a way to keep on fighting!"

"Are you really that naïve?" she snapped, but the retort sounded weak, half-hearted. "We can't just go back to the way things were, not after everything I—we've done."

 _We've_. The word was like a verdict, binding them together in responsibility. Everything Eren wanted so dearly to say was stupid: that Annie was wrong, they COULD have changed things, they could have worked together if only the others would have listened…. But he knew better, even when he still wanted to shake her, wanted to demand the answers she could never give.

"I won't ask you to forgive me," Annie told him quietly, "because you have every reason not to. But you said you trusted me."

"I DID!" he shouted at her. "I still trust you!"

Annie smiled at him then, frail and full of terrible understanding, and his desperation was reflected in her eyes, shining far too brightly.

"I just thought that after everything that's happened, you would —" He could not go on.

She turned away from him, and her voice was low when she said: "It was never our choice."

"I'm sorry," he croaked. "God, I never wanted it to be you."

She would not look at him.

"Why did you bother with me?" he asked, before he could help himself. "Why'd you teach me how to fight if we were never gonna…?"

"Because you asked me to," Annie said, but the bitterness was gone and she was hollow. "And because I felt sorry for you."

The tension thinned, dying slowly. Eren didn't know what to say. It seemed pointless, now.

"Wait, Annie." His voice was low. "What are we going to do now?"

She blinked, timid and unsure. "What do you mean?"

"Are we going to wake up?"

She didn't reply at first. "…I don't know," she said at last, and for the first time there was dread tinging her words. "I had to do something." She looked away, her speech almost feverish. "I had to keep you safe, I did this for both our sakes."

 ** _You can't trust her._**

And Eren didn't want to believe it, every inch of him was screaming for him to stop, push her away, but the emptiness in her voice kept him from achieving closure.

"No," he said aloud. "There's got to be another way."

Annie frowned. "What are you talking about? We have to stay here."

 ** _Don't. You'll give yourself away._**

Don't _what_?" Eren demanded. "Why are you hiding?"

"Eren?" Who are you talking to?" Annie asked. He ignored her for the moment.

"What are you, anyway? You said you'd tell me more if I went along with this, didn't you? So start talking."

 ** _Child of Eldia,_** **_it is your arrogance that will be your own ruin._**

"Goddam it, is that your only argument?" Eren shouted at the dark chasm. "What the hell is a—an Eld-ee-uh, anyw—"

 ** _ENOUGH!_**

There was a stabbing pain in the back of his head that spread like fire down his back, and Eren cried out, clutching uselessly at his skull.

"Eren!" Annie barked.

 ** _Eldian or Marley, it makes no difference. This girl is not your friend._**

"WHY do you keep saying that?" Eren bellowed. The pain did not cease.

 ** _You're in no place to disobey._**

"And what the hell makes you think I should believe anything you say?" he spat. "Why can't she hear you?"

 ** _Because she betrayed your trust._**

Incredulous, he scowled at the empty air. This voice was fucking with him.

"Eren?" Annie was quieter than usual. Eren noticed she faltered as he turned to look at her.

"What the hell was that?" she asked.

"I don't…know."

 ** _She's the enemy._**

"We have to get out of here," Eren said. He was pale and shaking. "Now."

"What?"

"Something's in here, with us. I dunno what it is, it says I can't trust you, it keeps saying it."

Annie quailed slightly, looking at him with something close to fear. Eren's heart sank; she must think he was going mad. "No! No, no, please don't misunderstand me, I trust you. I'm just scared, that whatever this is, it wants to hurt me, or you, or Armin and Mikasa and I can't let that happen."

"Eren, there's nothing in here with us. And we can't break out of here, it's…" Annie trailed off. He approached her.

 ** _I can show you what she knows. After that, it's up to you to decide._**

Eren wasn't sure how it happened. One moment they were locked in a stare-down of sorts,

* * *

 _the next he was gone from the cavern and somewhere else, and in his head there came flashes, of a man and an unfamiliar woman and a tiny girl, all three with pale hair and paler eyes, and Eren knew who they were, somehow, just by looking at them—_

* * *

"I won't ask you to forgive me —"

* * *

 _Inside the titan, falling away from the Wall, faster than thought, like the wires were freshly cut from her manoeuvre gear, and she knows who is waiting at the bottom—_

 _She's failed. This thought plays on repeat, like if she addresses it enough times she'll wake up from whatever nightmare she's fallen into._

 _But the titan hits the stone with enough force that would kill any ordinary human, and she doesn't wake up. Jaeger tearing at her arms; he's smart. Turning her halfway, dragging her up by the head and shoulder. His teeth working at her nape with unexpected care, bearing the tiny human to the world._

 _Annie realises this is how she's going to die. She isn't coming home._

 _She wants to cry but can't._

 _She closes her eyes—no point, she can't see him anyway—and waits._

 _Death never comes._

 _She hears a hiss. She can feel her titan body deteriorating but no one grabs her. Shouting is distant, and she knows she has to get away but there's no point in it._

 _Then there are hands on her. She's scared, but she knows what she will do. Acting too weak to fight, she lets herself be hauled and—_

 _Eren pulls her close, and she forgets she's supposed to be fighting and just goes limp. He must think she's unconscious. It's not very hard to pretend when she's this numb._

 _She can't help it._ "Eren?"

 _He gasps. Fear in his bright green eyes turns to relief. He pulls her into his arms and—_

* * *

—back to the cavern, and it felt like being ripped out of his Titan; quick and unceremonious.

Annie was on her knees, cowering, one arm raised as though in anticipation of a blow. When had she fallen?

"What the hell was that?" Eren asked faintly, then: "Annie?"

She looked terrified. Shrinking away from him. An inkling of what had happened crept into his consciousness, but he pushed it aside.

 ** _Try again._**

"What do you mean?" he asked. He wasn't really talking to her anymore. "What else do you know?"

Annie shuddered. Their surroundings slowly enveloped in a golden glow and—

* * *

 _—she's thirteen, and Eren Jaeger is coming to her with a fool's assertion and a fierce grin—_ "teach me how to fight?" _—and the girl scoffs because he's an idiot, everyone knows it—but she doesn't tell him no, and this is her mistake—_

"—your father will always be on your side," _a man whispers, holding her tightly—and the hands of the man becomes slender and his frame lanky and it's Bertholdt Hoover cradling her tiny body, almost engulfing her while the shadowy bulk that is Reiner looks on from afar with something like jealousy gleaming in his bright blue eyes—_

* * *

—Eren stopped, he was so surprised to see them. "Reiner and Bertholdt? What do they have to do with this?"

The question was a gentle one, yet Annie shrank away from him, eyes so wide it was a wonder they didn't pop right out of her skull. Eren wasn't letting her get away this time. "What is it, Annie? You can tell me anything, I'll listen. You know that, don't you…?"

* * *

 _—so they are given a Mission, told they will be heroes, they will become gods, and Reiner's smile is proud and fearful, and Bertholdt only has eyes for Annie, who seems caught between terror and a cold and ruthless determination—_

"I'm the armoured one," _Reiner says, palm against his chest with a familiar air of bravado,_ "and _he's_ from the Walls," _gesturing to Bertholdt, who is smart enough to look uncomfortable._

 _Young Annie stares at both of them and thinks each is stupid, to be caught up in propaganda. Can't they see that this is all pointless?_

 _"_ Don't worry about it," _Reiner reassures, misreading her expression entirely._ "You'll turn out something like me, a warrior."

 _The words resonate, even then. It's less of a promise and more a sentence._

* * *

 _Flash-forward, and the world is chaos._

 _Shiganshina has fallen, and they must take to the streets alongside the victims of their transgression. All around them, people are dead, or dying. Carried away in pieces or on makeshift stretchers, left in piles to fester, picked at by the dogs and the flies and sometimes other people; after all, a bait-town like Shiganshina doesn't really have the coin to afford real medical offices like in Karanese._

 _Reiner, who's usually a paradigm of strength, is hunched and pitiful-looking. He keeps his head down._

 _Annie hides in Bertholdt's shadow._

 _The scars of their transformation mar each face, and each in a unique and unmistakeable pattern._

 _None of the trio have the will to meet the eyes of the many._

* * *

 _—_ snapped back to the cold and lifeless plane. Eren was breathing hard.

"You knew," he said, everything in his tone accusatory. Annie was trying to get away but it was like she'd said, there was no-where for her to run.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he whispered hoarsely. Fury clawed at him. "We could have stopped this. We could have saved you. Or did you like going along with it? Was it _fun,_ pretending to be one of the humans?"

Her eyes widened, but she couldn't speak _—_ he let the force of his emotion crash over them like lightning.

* * *

 _Another memory, this one far more recent—it's high noon, she's down an empty sidestreet, and Eren watches himself smile down at her, underdressed and outlined by the sun—_ "I trust you," _—trust?—the very word is like treason on his lips, but it's real, she knows it's real. She's in-love and cannot hope to consume this new monster that burns so brightly within her, unless—_

* * *

—I want to love you, maybe you don't know it but I do, I don't expect you to understand why, but I need you, that's all—

* * *

"You used me." His voice shook slightly.

Annie did not deny it. Within his chest there was a familiar kind of ache, sweet and terrible.

* * *

"—we have a few minutes." _Midday, and Annie Leonhardt's smile is false as she reaches out for him. He catches her, nearly crushing her small body to his and at last they can devour one another with hands and lips—_

* * *

"Don't show me that!" Eren snarled at her, and she flinched. "I need you to tell me the truth!"

* * *

 _—and two children trembled, each against the body of the other, a collapsing structure held up by dirty walls, their embrace a clumsy tangling of lings and fluttering hearts, both fragile in that moment of mutual, unspoken promise:_ I'm with you _—_

* * *

"BERTHOLDT AND REINER!" Eren roared, desperately clinging to rage as though it could drown out the agony of hearing her say those words, and again the ceiling flashed gold, "TELL ME ABOUT BERTHOLDT AND REINER!"

The light did not fade this time; it stayed, growing steadily brighter.

* * *

—safe, he's safe and it's my fault should have killed him when I had the chance should have done my duty please god I can't take this anymore make it stop make him stop—

* * *

 ** _Just a little more._**

* * *

—I'm sorry, I'm sorry is that what you fucking want me to say—

* * *

 ** _You're almost there, I promise._**

* * *

—kept you safe Eren please why are you doing this to me—

* * *

He saw her: crumpled up, unable to vocalise her own torment. The sound of her voice degenerated into a register that was purely inhuman, cracking with strain.

* * *

 ** _Eren._**

* * *

—i loved you, i loved you for christ's sake i don't KNOW anything, i don't know—

* * *

The heady scent of blood and pine invaded his nostrils. Fear morphed into anguish and sickening betrayal but it was hollow anger, a skeleton of undesirable emotions. His grip on her consciousness tightened.

* * *

 ** _If you kill her, you'll be left to die in this crystal. You need to escape._**

* * *

The world exploded.


End file.
